Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Fuck Up

It seems like I'm always doing this to myself. I always fuck up. I'm sorry I'm not perfect, not even close. I want to cry, curl up, die. I keep replaying The Dangerous Summer, because that's the only thing keeping me alive. I keep wondering why I keep losing my friends. What do I do? I can't seem to smile anymore.

Haha, I think I've given up. I just stare ahead and wait for the world around me to come down on my, taking my life with it. Here I am, breaking on my own. I did this to myself. I know I should have listened, but I didn't. I couldn't. Yeah, I know that I should have, but I couldn't.

I keep staring at my computer, wondering if I should give up. I can't keep real friends, what makes me think I can keep online ones? I'm such a joke. One day, these online friends will get a life and leave me here. What will I have then? Nothing. Nothing at all.

Broken memories that just remind me that I should give up. I think I've finally given up. I think I'm finally done with this bullshit fantasy of mine. I can't have happiness as long as I fuck up and lose everything i want in my life.I'm doing everyone a favor by disappearing. If I do, then you don't have to worry about having to hate me later.